I hate the fact that I am so damn lazy. Unless I like what I am doing, I can't be bothered to do anything unless there is a deadline. I wanted to do so many things today and did nothing. It's a big weakness and it seems to me like it's getting worse the older I get. I just can't bring my different personalities together. I can work 12 hours or more at my office and still be happy and the same me isn't able to spend 3 minutes on making their bed. What the hell is this?

As for my office, I walked in at 10 am on Friday, left at 4. Spent an hour in between meeting Dirk for lunch and the rest of the time, I didn't work either. I have, however, decided that this blog isn't the place to discuss office anymore. It was probably boring most anyway as none of you know all the funny people at my job. LOL. But, that's not the reason I am putting this sort of talk on hold right now. I just want to be on the safe side. I learned on Friday afternoon that I have put myself in danger - not by writing about work on my blog - but with everything I have been doing these last three months. I have angered a lot of people and the same people want to silence me. I will spend a day of my vacation next week putting together a defense. On Monday, when I will be in for a couple of hours, I will print out e-mails I have wisely kept. These e-mails and quotes I remember from certain meetings in the last two months I will use to write down a transcript of everything that has happened. I have it all in my head and together with my calender I should be able to recapulate the whole story.

I must be prepared because I have for too long underestimated this conflict and considered all the drama a personal thing. It is not merely personal, it is a matter of principle and power. People clinging to the past, unwilling to give up what they've possessed for so long. And these people belong to a powerful majority. They don't have the truth or the law on their side - but they have power. I am not a major player in all this - but I have given out information (and keep giving it out as part of my job - or what I am considering my job) that is severely hurting their cause. This last week proved that they are no longer willing to accept that this information is going out - they will stop me. I will try to protect myself and hope that the long ill Z doesn't return before X comes back two weeks from now. If she does and the plan is that she returns April 10, I must have a paper ready that implicates all of them to a point where they cannot touch me. I like to believe that I have a good case - and that my own mistakes were only a consequence of them breaking the rules/ violating official policies. I will write that paper on Tuesday. I may go through it with two allies who have offered their help before the end of the week. We'll see what happens after the holidays. As last week has shown, anything is possible where I work. And because of that, those were my last words on all this in such a public forum.

Tomorrow, I am going to cook for my friends. It will be a busy day. More busy than it should have been but I can thank my lazy Saturday ass for that. Hmm...

Midnight update: I think most of us went into tonight thinking Henry was going to get slaughtered. I went into the night loathing him. He ended up reminding us that everything's possible. Even me rooting for him. He is still stupid when he talks, though. LOL