I have seriously fucked up now.

She and I went into a meeting today. Sort of unprepared. We didn't know before we went in where it was going to go although I knew the kind of things I wanted to say if possible. So we sit there. The usual blah blah starts and we aren't getting anywhere. This was a meeting within the directorate with everyone who matters except the big boss who is already on vacation. We are arguing about competencies and everyone knows it but no one is actually talking about it or even contemplating solutions. So, I sit in that meeting and suddenly, I forget that I am not boss. I mean, I didn't really forget but I couldn't help myself. So I start laying out my ideas and my entire concept of how I believe things should work in the future. Something my boss should do if she had the guts. The inevitable happens: everyone at the table is impressed and we decide that this is the concept we are going to present to our big boss in the new year. I offered the other players a part of the cake. In return, my boss and I can keep the main competencies and a few nice extras. More than we could have ever dreamed of if we had kept the existing conflict lingering.

So, the other people at the table choose me to present the whole thing to the big boss because they felt I could convince her in the same way that I had convinced them. And we also set a date for the new year where we are going to work on how to put my ideas and concept into actual results.

You would think everyone was happy.

But boss and I leave the meeting and she tells me that I went too far with my suggestions and that I had offered too much etc. But she, in many weeks, wasn't able to secure any of the new tasks for us. I, by offering some, got a lot back. Maybe I wasn't in a position to offer the new concept but she was free to speak her mind during our meeting. She could have made her own suggestions or at least make it known that she doesn't agree with mine. But she has always been a coward. I tried to catch her a little later but she had already gone home so now I will have to fix what's left of our relationship tomorrow.

But aside from that, work is going smooth. The guy I told you about yesterday (the one with all the power) and I wished each other a Merry Christmas no less than five times today. We thanked each other for our work so often that the last time I left his office just a few minutes ago he said laughing: "We've thanked each other enough now." Only to send another Merry Christmas my way. I am supposed to work against this man but I can't. LOL!

PS: God save me if anyone from my office is reading this.

PSS: Harry Potter VII will be called "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".