She's gone. Lung cancer is known to progress swiftly but three days from diagnosis to death is shockingly fast.

I said in my last entry that I wasn't close to her and I'm not going to pretend anything different now. In fact, most of her grown-up grandchildren were more or less estranged from her these last couple of years. But I feel for my dad. It was a 4 hour drive to the hospital for him and he came 30 minutes too late. He saw her on Wednesday however and I hope he can deal with it. He has lost both his parents now and neither made it to the age of 75.

As of today, my grandma here in Dresden is our sole remaining grandparent. Leo wrote me a message earlier on the passing of my grandmother and aside from reaffirming that he is the kindest, sweetest and most amazing man I ever met, he also said something very wise. Cancer and loss are causing fear with those who continue to live. The kind of haunting fear that keeps you up at night. He and I share those fears to a degree that goes beyond that of many other people. You cannot allow for those fears to take over but it's hard and it always will be.

I find comfort in the fact she didn't have to suffer and that her children reunited on the day of her passing. May you rest in peace, grandmother.