The end of the weekend that is. Not that it makes much of a difference. I regularly get the blues on Sunday nights. It's not that I hate my job. But I have a strong dislike for both getting up before 10 and spending the entire day before a computer screen. I need a vacation but the Easter holidays are still two weeks away and I've already had more days off this year than I should have had.

You may remember my friend from Copenhagen, Mette. Her online lover from Kansas came to visit her for the first time today. I just talked to the two of them and they're so in love and they are living proof that yes you can fall in love on the internet. I am so happy for both of them. I couldn't imagine two people more deserving of true love than these two.

Of course, the fact that one of my best friends has found love like that reminds me of my own complicated situation that didn't exactly get easier this weekend. There were more tears but there was also us making up again. I guess none of that is really news. We just go back and forth but I haven't given up hope to actually be able to meet him at some airport one day. I don't think I could get up in the morning without that hope right now. I hope he knows what he means to me. Sometimes, I'm afraid he doesn't. Or if he does, he may not be comfortable with it. I dunno.

There's more news. My mom will be working in Munich from April 10. It was something that was in the works for a while. The deal seemed to had fallen through a few weeks ago but now everything happened very quickly and she joins her company's headquarters a week from now. I'm happy for her. Not sure how everything will work out for my family as my dad has his job in Dresden. There is also my grandma and my sister, who is still looking for a job. There is no masterplan yet. I guess time will tell.

I finally saw Crash yesterday. Leo kept pleading with me to finally see it and now I'm glad I did. It was a fabulous movie. Very different from Brokeback but as deserving of the Oscar as the cowboy film would have been. Crash was an interesting peak into what Leo called "the story of my life". I've talked to a few black friends of mine and they confirmed that Crash is not a fairy tale. Crash is real, racism is real, and all the pain that comes with it is very real. I guess as a white European you can't begin to imagine the anger that every black man feels when he gets pulled over by cops over and over again just because he's black and drives a big car. The fear when they point a gun to your head because you're black. The humiliation of it all.

What makes Crash special is that it's also full of hope. That even monsters can redeem themselves - somewhat. And yet, racism is a vicious cycle that will exist as long as humans walk this planet. There is no hope for is, and yet it is hope that makes us carry on.

Like BBM, Crash has an excellent cast with Terrence Howard deserving of a special Oscar for supreme fine-ness. Hehe. Ludacris was really good too as was the actor playing the Latino dad of a 5-year-old. The name escapes me at this moment. When his daughter got shot, I swear I felt as if I had been shot. Crash is an emotional movie. I can think of a few people who somehow think they are superior because they're white. Who consider calling minorities or foreigners names or making jokes of ill taste perfectly normal. I recommend you see this movie. I also recommend you don't make these comments in front of me. I have never been particularly receptive to ignorance, prejudice and plain stupidity. I also have a gay sister and my heart belongs to a black man. I won't let anyone insult them. Remember that.

I'll go back to watching that Sandra Bullock romance on TV now. Before I go though, I wanna say hello and thank you to Fi, Mama LS and Mette for always being there for me. I appreciate you so much.